TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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