the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
