Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
