i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
