I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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