he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
