The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
