mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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