yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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