If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
