I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
