I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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