Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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