i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
