Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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