I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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