She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think my tv is drunk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
