Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
