we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i think i just lost a toe
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
