the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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