tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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