yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
