Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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