I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
