were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
