3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
