And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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