The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
