I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
