My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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