after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
