He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
