just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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