...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
