You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
