Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
