I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
