you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
