is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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