o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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