just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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