I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
do nipples grow back?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
