dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
