only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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