she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
