dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
