so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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