You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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