What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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