I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
