Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
