Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
