Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize