Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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