How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
