okay pat passed out under dana's car
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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