you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
