does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
