Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
